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I was down in the dumps ready to give in. My boyfriends father who lives with us made a comment that just shattered my heart. I don’t know about other Full Figured girls out there, but I am very sensative about my weight. My boyfriend asked if I was on the scale lately, and I said yeah. He asked how much had I dropped, and I said i have dropped and gained and dropped. His dad chimes in and says that scale lied, I don’t see where you lost any weight. My boyfriend knows how sensative I am in that area, but also knows how I can get when one pisses me off!! So, I get up and pray as I walk away that God does not let me catch a charge for killing an old man. Needless to say, my boyfriend let him know how close he was to wearing a toe tag. The next day he apoligized with a dozen long stem red roses. I was the better person and accepted his apology and prayed as I told him I won’t forget it, and he better be kind from now on, because he used up all of my forgivness I have for him. But I did use that anger that I was holding to get my butt back in the gym, and back on track, where I need to be. Thank God for the answer to prayers(I’m not in jail) Ha! Ha! Ha! I can laugh about it now.

I have the towel in the air and ready to throw it in. My weight is up and holding there. Every week I pay in at work, I was doing better on my own. I feel helpless in trying to get back on track, and I don’t know why. I really need to get this thing together.

My boyfriend went to a super bowl part yesturday, I stayed home. Alone, big mistake. After about three hours into CSI I got a little bored. And had this crazy question come over me. How long has it been since I had a dairy queen blizzard? And I gave it too much thought, and could not remember. And lets just say it is now fresh in my memory, because I gave in and got one. Boy do I feel like crap this morning. I feel like I failed myself. I should have looked at the amount time without having one was a sign of some sort of will power and not remembering was a good thing. So, today I’m watching the clock, so I can get my but to the gym. I’m hoping that if I get a good work out today, it will ease the guilt I feel.

My co-workers and I started a support group at work, to help each other drop weight. I joined to help make myself be accountable for the number on that scale every week at weigh in. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to have people you know, really know your actual weight. When I was just weighing myself, and gained a pound or three, I could give myself a pep talk that next week I will take it back off. But to have some one else see those pounds is a bit too embarresing for me. On the positive note, I have been going to the gym on a more regular schedule. And I also hate having to pay in when I gain, that adds up. So, I will press on with this journey with hope of success. Pray for Me!!!!!!!!!!!

I have not been on to blog for a while because the site would not let me blog. I don’t know what happened but I thought they kicked me off. But I guess the techs figured it out, and I’m back.

I have been doing blogs and going through the motions since I came to this site. But I put back on the little bit of weight that I did lose.(how depressing) But I had a wake up call New Years day. I woke up, checked the scale, Oh H–l No!!! My weight is back, my lower back is hurting and I felt so short of breath. I looked in the mirror and confessed to myself, This Is It!!!! I said a prayer, asking for will-power, and moved forward. I have been to the gym every day since that awful morning, and I feel great spiritually. I have not lost any weight yet, but just the feeling of getting control on my life and realizing that I don’t want to be a diabetic like my mother was, or carry on any of the complications that she lived and died with. I feel New and refreshed with the desire for a make over on my body. Let’s get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!:)

I asked for what I needed to get me to work out more, a gym pass!! For x-mas I got my gym pass, sneakers, and an i-pod. Now I have NO excuse of not getting exercise and droppping weight. So, here we gooooooooo!!!!!!!

It’s been a year since I lost my mother(my best friend) She loved the hoildays, so this is a very trying time of the year for me. Today is a day that I feel so alone and I have this deep yearning  feeling to talk to her. I pray every day for God to give me the strength to be stronger. Maybe some day.

This is my first chance this week to blog. My co-worker has an issue with her license, and I have been taking her where she needs to go. So, I have been playing catch up on my work. So, I was not able to get on here and give my shout out to all my buddies. I hope you are all o.k. and putting those scales to work. I will check in on Monday with my weigh in. ( i missed that this week also) God bkless you all!!!

Up a couple pds. thanks to that t.o.t.m. Oh! being bloated is no joke, especially when it makes that scale move the wrong way. Why can’t men get all the uncomfortable stuff like we do? I know, we are equipped to handle it all. Today is just one of those days, I wish it was the other way around.